If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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