Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
