You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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