you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
