what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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