He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
