My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
