fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
