Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
