from now on my penis is your penis
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
