just tell him i said nine months
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
