im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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