sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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