he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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