You really coming over, don't trick.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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