i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
