Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
