there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
