I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
