just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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