He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Come share oat with me in your robe
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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