Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
