i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
