To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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