You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
