College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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