Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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