So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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