This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
