see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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