Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
