i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize