I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
