I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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