that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize