what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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