did you get engaged???
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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