Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
