okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
how drunk are you?
Several
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
