he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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