So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
