Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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