I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
