you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
