it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
