No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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