I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
