Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
