Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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