Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
