do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
