Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
