I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you would pick up someone in the library
handjob tips. give me some.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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