I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
