she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
