Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
